Written by Karissa (Ryan's sister)

 I will never forget the day my mom pulled me into her bedroom to have a serious conversation with me. She seemed so nervous and excited. She sat me down on her bed after shutting her bedroom door and she told me she was pregnant. I was filled with joy and excitement, I couldn’t wait to have another sibling.        

Months flew by and we kept going back and forth between naming him Ryan or Riley. And then one day it just clicked, they were going to name him Ryan, and my god did it fit. His name meant little king and Ryan indeed was just that. March 13th our entire world changed, an angel in human form was given to us. Immediately we were all in awe of him, we all fell in love with him, as if he had been a part of us forever.

Time seemed to move so fast, and the more time spent with Ryan the more we realized he was what was missing from our lives. He came into this world, a golden ray of sunshine and even at such a young age you couldn’t help but want to be around him. He was precious in every sense, and pure in every sense and that feeling rung true always, that feeling stuck to you permanently.        

This boy was unlike any person I’ve ever met, he felt like a male version of me but a million times better than I could ever be. He was a boy who never did anything wrong, always doing everything with an honest heart full of love. Ryan had everything, and he could do anything he put his mind to. Every person who met him was touched by him and moved by him. We all looked up to him, we all adored him, we all admired him and we all had no idea what we did to deserve him. His love was endless, unconditional and so big he could fill you with it and make you feel a warmth that most people can’t.

Every time I spoke about him I had the hardest time telling people about who he truly was because how could you sum up Ryan in just a few sentences? You can’t. I’d just tell people he was the best person I’ve ever met and they’d understand when they finally met him.

 Every conversation with him felt like a gift. He always blew me away especially when we talked about things that felt really heavy, we understood one another, and when we had a chance to connect we listened to one another intently always doing our best to make sure we felt heard and seen. I was always blown away by his passion and his intelligence, it’s like he was born a genius.

He’s the only human I’ve ever known to be a jack of all trades and a master of all things. Ryan was the most generous young man who would not only do anything for the people he loved the most but for complete strangers as well, he was thoughtful and put everyone before himself.  

Ryan was that feeling you’d get in your stomach after laughing way too much, he was silly, and goofy and light and we all shared the same sense of humor, the same silly childlike wildness that made others feel like they were on laughing gas. He was full of smiles, always so happy, always so grateful to just be alive.

He was an old soul, someone who had been here and done this far too many times, he knew so much and absorbed information like a sponge, he’d baffle you with his knowledge and wittiness. His mind was brilliant, flawless, and beautiful.
He was soothing, like a body of water, and being near him felt like a calmness we all chase after.    

His empathy is something we could all use a little of, and he was so gifted at feeling things out and knowing just what to do and what to say, he made you feel like he could somehow fix all your problems or at least take some of your pain away.

He made us all want to be a better person, his existence here with us alone made us better. Every moment with Ryan was a blessing he was just this warm embrace that made you feel happy safe and alive. His smile could light up an entire city his energy was welcoming and he deserved every moment of praise that he got. He was a saint, someone that left a positive mark forever on those who crossed paths with him.

Ryan was a huge part of me, a huge part of my heart, one of my dearest friends. I thought about him constantly and was always so proud of him. Proud of him for just always being true to himself and proud of his courage and strength, proud of him for spreading nothing but love.

 I cannot sum Ryan up in just a few pages, it would take me years to write down about how incredibly moving he was. Ryan will eternally be the best thing to ever happen to my life. He was an angel since the moment he took his first breath, and he’s an angel still now watching over us. I know it will feel like he is haunting us and this will hurt for the rest of our lives. This pain will never go away and missing him will never stop.

 Ryan is tremendous, glorious, beautiful, and unforgettable, and I will spend the rest of my life carrying him around with me, every day, celebrating him and who he was, I will spend the rest of my days thinking about him and the type of person he was and allowing his love to continue working through me, I will spend the rest of my life holding his memory dear to my heart and continue letting thoughts of him fill me with love with laughter with joy.

Ryan Jacob I hope that you are happy I hope that you are at peace I hope that you are safe and that you stay with us always, showing us signs that you are still here. You are everything, you have been since day one; rest easy my king, my favorite little human my favorite Pisces.

"You turn mourning to dancing

You give beauty for ashes

You turn shame into glory

You're the only one who can

You turn graves into gardens

You turn bones into armies

You turn seas into highways

You're the only one who can" 

Written by Elevation Worship & Brandon Lake