Family Share | Ryan's Mom

Here's a pic of Ryan at 17 with the lamp he made for his dad out of an old car carburetor and other car parts. He was so creative!

Ryan & Nick! Brotherly love! We won't get to do Ryan at age 21 this year! We thought we'd be able to recreate this photo every milestone for a lifetime! These two were two peas in a pod!

Family from left to right-(Nick, Ryan, Wendy, Karissa, Bill) The thought of never having him in a family photo ever again brings me a sadness and a misery that only a bereaved parents heart could ever know. To lose a child is to lose yourself over and over and over. It is so unnatural to have your child leave the world before you. We not only grieve their death...we grieve for our own life that's forced to continue onward without them....we grieve their future with all of our hopes and dreams of who'd they'd become. We grieve every holiday without them. We grieve who we once were before they were taken from us. Grief has many facets that are woven together and it's a grief journey that you learn to navigate and get better at with time. It can always sneak up on you and take you out as soon as you are triggered. "Grief work" takes dedication and a lot of hard painful work but in the end it is worth the effort. This journey has made me want to become a grief coach because support and guidance in child loss is so needed. It is a way for my heart and soul to honor Ryan. Ryan always wanted to help others so I will live out his legacy and help as many people that will allow me to.

My boys & I at the Yankee Game

Grief hurts. It's an ache that cuts so deep it can feel like it's running through your bones. It constantly changes and shifts. There are days when it lurks silently in the shadows and then boom-the waves of grief are relentless and it drags you back to the moment loss changed everything.

So proud of our graduate!

Our lil rock star on Halloween

Grammy & Poppy Chilcott

Ry's 16th birthday in Aruba

Isaiah 57:1-2 "Good people pass away; the Godly often die before their time. But no one seems to understand why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come." "For those who follow Godly paths will Rest In Peace when they die." I never wanted to be without you Ryan for a single second, but may you be in total peace and shining brighter than ever in heaven.

Karissa & Ryan! 13 years apart! My children helped me raise Ryan! How blessed we all were to watch him grow and flourish! Ryan made us all better humans. Karissa adored her baby bro!